IMAGENS E PIADAS

racismo

Numa escola americana a professora diz aos alunos:
- A partir de hoje não há mais racismo na minha sala de aula! Agora já não há mais brancos e negros. Passamos a ser todos azuis!
E prosseguiu:
- Agora vamos todos sentar. Os azuis clarinhos aqui na frente e os azuis escuros lá no fundão!!!!!

Joãozinho e o FACEBOOK

• Piadas do Joãozinho

Joãozinho chega no colégio… ai a Mariazinha joga uma bola de papel na cabeça dele e fala:
-”Head Shot” ( tiro na cabeça )
Joãozinho pega o livro e taca na cara da Mariazinha e diz:
-“HAHAHAHA FACE BOOK”!

Hino Nacional

• Piadas do Joãozinho

A professora mandou que os alunos trouxessem imagens do Hino nacional brasileiro.
Marquinhos trouxe uma imagem de um garoto deitado com a camisa brasileira com um raio atras dele e disse. "Brasil, um sonho intenso, um raio vívido".
Joana trouxe outra de todos preservando a terra e disse "TERRA ADORADA,"
Já Joaozinho trouxe uma com um jumento com o pinto duro arrastando no chão, a professora estava sem paciencia e levou o pra direção.
Chegando lá joaozinho falou, professora. porque estou aqui? apenas fiz meu dever de casa. Opa.. nem falei a frase " gigante pela propria natureza"

O chinelo

Enviado por caio_242_424_242 em 1 Maio, 2011 - 17:26

• Piadas do Joãozinho

Certa tarde, Joãozinho e seu amigo que se chamava Jesus estavam caminhando por uma velha estrada de terra. Perto de chegar em casa, Jesus, que era um menino muito pobre avistou uma goiabeira com cara de ter goiabas maduras.
- Joãozinho, vamos dar uma parada rápida pra comer umas goiabas, estou faminto.
- Está bem, Jesus.
- Joãozinho, faz o seguinte, me impreste os seus chinelos, para que eu possa subir no tronco da árvore sem me machucar.
Ai então, Jesus escalou a árvore. Mas ele escalou tão alto, que as folhas não deixavam Joãozinho ver seu amigo. Depois de 1 hora esperando, Joãozinho gritou:
- Jesus! Jesus! Desce logo!
Nisso, passava um padre na mesma estrada que ouviu os gritos de Joãozinho.
- Ah, meu filhiho. Que lindo da sua parte chamar por Jesus, mas infelizmente, Jesus subiu para nunca mais voltar! E o Joãozinho:
- Filha da puta, levou meu chinelo!

Conversa de loiras no céu!

Enviado por nandaamora96 em 5 Julho, 2011 - 21:13

• Piadas de Loiras

Duas loiras estavam no céu e começaram a conversar:
Loira1 - Como você morreu?
Loira2 - Morri congelada
Loira1 - Nossa, que horror. Como é morrer congelada?
Loira2 - Bem, primeiro você congela o braço, a perna... e depois morre. E você, como morreu?
Loira1 - Eu morri porque tive um infarto.
Loira2 - Nossa, como foi?
Loira1 - Eu estava desconfiando que meu marido estava me traindo. Aí então eu voltei do trabalho e vi que ele estava sozinho. Continuei desconfiada e fui procurar a amante dele no porão, no quarto, no patio, corri tanto e tive um infarto e morri.
Loira2 - Puxa colega, se você tivesse procurado no congelador, nós duas estaríamos vivas!

a loira e o bebe

Enviado por vinicius1234 em 22 Abril, 2011 - 13:05

• Piadas de Loiras

Duas loiras estavam conversando em um bar quando começaram a falar sobre filhos (já que as duas tinham filhos pequenos)e uma delas falou:
- Ai amiga meu filho já ta andando faz 6 meses
E a outra loira burra responde:
-Nosaaaaaaaa entao ele já deve tá bem longe eim

Joãozinho e o verbo formatar

Enviado por piadas em 29 Julho, 2011 - 16:13

Joãozinho, diga uma frase com a palavra formatar: "Fessora, leve esta faca se acaso formatar alguém."

Adesivos de carro

Enviado por piadas em 30 Julho, 2011 - 22:00

"O bom de hoje em dia é que vemos muitas famílias felizes por aí, nem que elas estejam coladas no carro."

 

entertainment

movies

Woman Escapes a Cult but Not Her Own Past

As its title suggests, “Martha Marcy May Marlene” is a story of fractured identity, in which a young woman tries to negotiate incompatible versions of herself, all the while wondering who she really is. The film, Sean Durkin’s impressively self-assured debut feature, switches back and forth between two periods in its protagonist’s life — an indeterminate span when she is part of a cult in rural New York and the time just after her escape from the group, when she has found refuge with her older sister and brother-in-law in their rented lakeside vacation house.

The sister knows her as Martha, though she does not necessarily know her very well. The leader of the cult, who claims spiritual and physical intimacy with all his followers, has christened her Marcy May. (Marlene is the all-purpose pseudonym female cult members use when answering the telephone.)
Whatever her name, and whatever her mood — it ranges from vaguely unsettled to acutely anguished — Martha is played by Elizabeth Olsen, a very pretty actress whose on-camera presence is at once vivid and interestingly blurred. Her features seem to shift, appearing sharp from some angles and soft from others, and her body can look alternately sturdy and frail, depending on the circumstances.
Ms. Olsen’s performance is both the key to the film and the source of its sometimes frustrating opacity. Like Todd Haynes’s “Safe” (though with less ambition or intellectual rigor), “Martha Marcy May Marlene” is, in part, a psychological case study of someone whose inner life is permanently out of reach, if it even exists at all.
Martha’s background is left deliberately sketchy. We know that she and her sister, Lucy (Sarah Paulson), have some family unhappiness behind them, but we never learn precisely what happened between them, or to their parents. Nor do we know what drew Martha into the thrall of Patrick, the Svengali of an agrarian sex commune whose sun-dappled fields and lithe young bodies suggest a spiritually ambitious Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. But it is clear that her passivity and uncertainty make her perfect prey for Patrick and his group.
Everything is friendly and relaxed at first, with fatherly affection and an occasional rebuke from Patrick, who is played with sinewy, sinister charisma by John Hawkes. Gradually an uglier side of his community emerges, and it starts to look less like a progressive summer camp than a new incarnation of the Manson family. Female acolytes are initiated into the group by being drugged and raped by the leader, and the most disturbing scenes show Martha undergoing this ordeal and then, later, preparing a new recruit for it.
But life with Lucy and her husband, Ted (Hugh Dancy), has its own difficulties, and Martha’s disgust at what she sees as their shallow, materialistic sham of normalcy suggests that she has held onto some of Patrick’s teachings even after fleeing his world. Some of her behavior — plunging into the lake without a bathing suit, curling up on Ted and Lucy’s bed after interrupting their love-making — indicates that the cult has stripped away her sense of propriety and her inhibitions.
The film does not necessarily see this as a bad thing, and not only because the camera relishes the sight of Ms. Olsen with no clothes on. The narrative structure, switching back and forth between Patrick’s utopia and Lucy and Ted’s middle-class dream, creates a sense of symmetry, or even equivalence, between the two places. In both of them displays of compassion and generosity mask selfish agendas, and solicitude turns into collusion. Ted, an arrogant architect with a British accent, is far less compelling than Patrick, a soulful monster but not necessarily a hypocrite. And the cult at least supplied her with friends.
Mr. Durkin conveys Martha’s dissociation by means of a number of compositional and formal strategies. He shoots Ms. Olsen in off-center close-ups, and frequently induces confusion for the viewer at the beginning of a scene, about where it is taking place. Are we back at Patrick’s farm, or at home with Ted and Lucy?
After a while this technique starts to seem like a trick, and the ingenuity of the movie’s structure begins to feel evasive rather than probing. The drama is all in the jumps and juxtapositions, rather than in any sustained consideration of Martha’s experience.
She remains a blank space in the middle of a film that is an impressive piece of work without achieving quite the emotional impact it intends. We are witnessing not the disintegration of a personality, but rather the careful construction of a series of effects. Patrick periodically criticizes his disciples, including Martha, for failing to be open enough with him, and that is also a shortcoming of “Martha Marcy May Marlene,” which is a bit too coy, too clever and too diffident to believe in.



Written and directed by Sean Durkin; director of photography, Jody Lee Lipes; edited by Zac Stuart-Pontier; music by Saunder Jurriaans and Danny Bensi; production design by Chad Keith; costumes by David Tabbert; produced by Josh Mond, Antonio Campos, Chris Maybach and Patrick Cunningham; released by Fox Searchlight Pictures. Running time: 1 hour 41 minutes.
WITH: Elizabeth Olsen (Martha), Christopher Abbott (Max), Brady Corbet (Watts), Hugh Dancy (Ted), Maria Dizzia (Katie), Julia Garner (Sarah), John Hawkes (Patrick), Louisa Krause (Zoe) and Sarah Paulson (Lucy).

my biography

hello,my is Matheus iam 15 years old,because i was born on 04/02/1996 in Santo André my zodiac sign is aquarius and iam São Paulo.
one brother and their name are Wesley and my father´s name is Benedito and he is a pule manager and my mother´s name is Noranei and she is a housemaid

and i was there i like of português classes because faster but i hatch to watch Fìsica classes because 
            ah,i almost forgetic i live is  has hard years


best day of my life until today